Home on the Range (2004)

Image result for home on the range disney poster

What the actual frack, Disney??  Were the normal creators all on vacation this year, so you let some high interns make a Disney Animated Feature??  How did this trainwreck of a film even happen??

Imagine this: Take Roseanne Barr, and have her voice a cartoon cow. The end. That’s the entire plot of Home on the Range, or at least the only plot I could find. There’s some sort of story buried in there about a trio of cows going off on an adventure to stop a cattle thief and collect a reward to save their farm from being sold, but given how absurd it sounds even as I type it out, I’m going to just move right along.

This film is basically a trainwreck masquerading as a Disney film.  There is no heartwarming lesson, no endearing characters that appeal to viewers. We just get a handful of random barnyard animals thrown into a movie without any discernible purpose or direction.  The characters try way too hard to be funny, while lacking any sort of depth.  The jokes are contrived and often fall flat. Perhaps this is funny to a 5-year old, but I couldn’t find anything redeemable about it.

Now before anyone goes off thinking I’m some sort of movie snob, let me just say that I love me some bad movies.  A truly awful bad movie is so much fun to watch, generally because it winds up being unintentionally funny and for some reason I find that hilarious. Home on the Range, however, is not that type of bad movie.  It’s dull, plain and simple.  It’s a bland, generic attempt at storytelling, and feels more like a direct-to-video Dreamworks movie than a Disney animated classic.  I don’t know what prompted Disney to release this in theaters, but I’m glad it’s behind me.  I most assuredly will not be watching this one again.  Now if only I could go back in time and stop myself from watching it the first time.

-Jess

 

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